I am so excited.
Just pulled out my ’57 “Lady Head” Conn Tenor Saxophone. I have always wanted to be a sax player, and now I am going to get my chance.
I can play most of the notes except the really high ones and the really low ones… but, I rock in the middle ones.
As long as the music is not too fast or has any, you know, sixteenth notes. Or is in the key of B.
Or A.
Or Eflat, Aflat, Dflat, E, D, A, and Gflat.
I am good in Bflat and G and C… except for that really low couple of notes we discussed earlier.
But I have purchased a fantastic mouthpiece (metal/jazz) and some awesome reeds. I have a very cool ‘jazzman’ soft case for it and even picked up a saxophone stand that holds the Lady Head when I am not using it.
The strap I got is top of the line. Absolutely top of the line strap.
So I am ready to be a pro now.
I am looking for a band who needs a saxophone player. It must be a paying gig, and I am looking to be well compensated. I have spent a fortune on this sax and all the cool things that go with it and I am demanding that I get respected for it.
I want to be a sax player really bad, and if I get a gig with a top band, I promise to practice more than I do now. Actually I don’t practice at all now, but then no one is paying me to practice so screw that crap.
I have the sax.
I have the cool strap.
I have the jazz bag, jazz mouthpiece, some reeds and – well, I think I have it covered.
Please have your request for me to play in your band sent by FED EX, and my attorneys will check with your attorneys to make sure we are a good ‘fit’ for each other.
(Oh, I forgot Gsharp and Csharp… I don’t do very well in those either.)
Again, I DO NOT PLAY FOR FREE. My investment in sax gear means I get compensated.
Right?
(Imagine if musicians approached being a professional the way that photographers, writers and designers seem to think it works… sigh…)