WHY IS IT SO F***ING HARD TO CHANGE?
If you have ever thought of starting a business or quitting that job that you hate or finally making the freelance break you have probably heard this;
“I don’t know if that is something you’re good at.”
“Most people who try that fail.”
“I had a buddy who had a girlfriend whose brother tried opening a store like that and he went bankrupt.”
“There’s too much competition.”
“You’re not ready.”
“I just don’t want you to be disappointed when you fail.”
And the sad thing is that most of this negativity is coming from the very people closest to you. Family, close friends, buds and BFF’s who SHOULD be taking your back and encouraging you.
Interestingly, your cross the street neighbor thinks it is a terrific idea, and the folks you talked to at the ‘new business forum’ were super supportive.
You’re getting the flak from people you would expect to support you.
What?
Unfortunately, you put a lot of credence in their words BECAUSE they are your buds and you are like them in so many ways. I mean, they MUST be right because you trust them.
Unfortunately, you are mostly wrong. They are, by nature, protecting what they perceive as their vested interest in you. If you change, you won’t be the person they know now and they are really comfortable with that person.
If you fail, they will have to deal with that and nobody wants to deal with the failure of a friend. It can be messy, with lots of tears and tequila. Never a good mix.
But if you succeed, it is even harder for them.
Your success makes them realize that they could be successful too, but they are so invested in being ‘part of the group’ that they simply would rather not put in that work and possibly fail than to join you in taking the leap.
Your success could be a slap in the face of their protracted and self-created status quo.
“You are the average of the 5 people you hang around with most” it is said.
So you want to change… here’s a question for you. What makes you think that a higher functioning group will want to hang around with you BEFORE you change? You were part of a group with a certain dynamic and now you want to be a part of a group with a higher dynamic. Why would they want to bring a negative into their positive force group?
You must change before you start to attract the people who will want to be hanging around with you.
And that means you must be ready to pull away a bit, and disregard negative comments and unsupportive loved ones. You MUST become even more committed to the project to see it through.
The sad news is that you may lose a few of those great friends who were so loyal for so long… at least until you changed. But the good news is that you may bring one or two of them along with you since they needed a catalyst to spring into their own self-driven action.
Change is hard. I believe it is simply meant to be that way as a sort of life-filter. Being an entrepreneur is hard, owning a business is hard, being creative on a daily basis is hard.
If you are not happy where you are, but are content to stay there and complain about it then probably it is wise to NOT try to change. You would have problems with the change.
There is most likely too much competition anyway.